Crossroads of the Heart
by Shining Friendship
Summary: After the events of VotDT, Caspian learns his people want him to choose a queen. Lilliandil seems like the right choice, but his feelings for Susan still tug at his heartstrings. As a result, when Aslan decides to bring both women forward, Caspian is left to choose between the two. - DISCONTINUED -
1. Crossroads

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything. Everything belongs to C.S. Lewis, Walden Media, Disney, and Fox.

**Title:** Crossroads of the Heart

**Summary:** Post-VotDT, Caspian learns his people want him to choose a queen. Lilliandil seems like the obvious choice, but his feelings for Susan still tug at his heartstrings. When Aslan decides to bring both women forward, Caspian is left to choose between the two.

**Rating:** T (PG-13)

**Pairings/Characters:** Susan/Caspian/Lilliandil, Aslan, Doctor Cornelius, Trumpkin, Trufflehunter, Peter, Lucy, Edmund, and possible others later on

**A/N: **Okay, so I just saw _Voyage of the Dawn Treader _for the first time yesterday_. _I thought the film was absolutely amazing, but being a die-hard Suspian fan, I couldn't help but miss having Susan in Narnia this time around. With that in mind, an idea for a Susan/Caspian/Lilliandil love triangle fanfic came to me during my drive home from the movie theater. For those of you who already read my other AU Narnia fanfic "Changing Destiny," don't worry, because I still plan to write a sequel for that story. Anyways, I hope all of you enjoy this opening chapter and will continue reading the story—assuming I receive some feedback telling me you want me to continue the fanfic.

**Happy reading!**

* * *

**Chapter One: **Crossroads

The journey was over. King Edmund and Queen Lucy, along with their younger cousin Eustace, were gone, back to England, their home. The seven swords bestowed to the lords Miraz had banished from Narnia were where they belonged on Ramandu's Island.

Thinking of the enchanted island, his thoughts drifted back to its keeper, a beautiful Star named Lilliandil.

"_You are most beautiful._"

And she was. The fair beauty was everything a man could ask for. Her kindness alone would make any king want to make her his queen. Not a single soul in the land could surpass her beauty, kindness, and spirit.

Except one.

_Queen Susan._

The first girl—woman—he ever loved.

"_You're just…_ _You're not exactly what I expected._"

Thinking of the Gentle Queen who stole his heart from the first moment they locked eyes, it almost brought tears to his eyes just knowing that it had been three years since he last saw her beautiful face. Three years since he saw her coy smile. Three years since he looked into her crystal blue eyes. Three years since he, in a love-struck gaze, watched her chestnut brown hair blowing in the wind. Three years since he felt her full lips pressed against his own…

It was no secret that he and Queen Susan shared a mutual affection for one another during her last return. But how could any man, with just one look at the Gentle Queen, not fall madly in love with her? Professor Cornelius once told him in their private lessons about Old Narnia and its Golden Age that all men who met her found Susan to be the most beautiful woman in the world. In fact, it was her stunning beauty that drove cruel Prince Rabadash of Calormen to prepare an army for war and attempt to kidnap Queen Susan in Archenland after she rejected his offer to marry him. And as he saw throughout his long journey in the Lone Islands, even Lucy was envious of her sister's timeless beauty.

He had been King of Narnia for three years. Three years without a queen. He wanted Susan to be his queen, to be by his side while they jointly ruled the magical land with her three siblings. But she was gone, and with it went his dreams of peacefully ruling Narnia together. And now his people felt it was time he move on and choose someone else to be his queen.

In spite of the fact that he had only spent a few moments with Lilliandil, he was immediately drawn to her, like he was once with Susan. She was so incredibly beautiful. So much so that he did not want to see her leave.

"_I hope we meet again._"

But like his beloved Susan, her place was somewhere else.

"So your people have decided it's time that you settle down and choose a queen?" a familiar voice said from behind him.

Dressed in his typical nightwear, a long-sleeved, cotton white shirt and black leggings, Caspian looked into the full-length mirror in front of him and saw Aslan standing behind him, just to the right.

"You're not surprised by their request, though, are you?" the wise Lion continued.

"How could I be after everything my uncle went through to have a son?"

"But you will marry and have children for the right reasons, my son."

"I'm not even sure if I want to marry," he spoke sadly, his thoughts drifting back to Susan's memory.

"You have thought of Ramandu's daughter often since your first encounter with her. You know she could make a wonderful queen, wife, and mother to your future children."

"Yes."

"And yet your heart still goes out to Queen Susan."

"Forgive me, Aslan," he whispered in shame, lowering his head in defeat. "I know I should not dwell on the past—"

"There is nothing to forgive, Your Majesty," the Great Lion interjected, causing Caspian to look back up at him through the mirror. "It is only natural to feel pain when you have lost someone you care about."

"It's just… she's still so much a part of me. Whenever I pick up her ivory horn…or stare at her bow and arrows, I can almost feel her presence beside me. It's been three years since she left us, and she still haunts me in my dreams…my every private thought. Queen Susan was the most beautiful woman I ever laid eyes on, and she would have helped me create a second Golden Age in Narnia as my wife if she and her siblings had been allowed to stay here."

"Do you resent my decision to send her back?"

"It did not please me then, nor does it now, but I could never defy your wise counsel, my King. The Pevensies were the closest thing I ever had to a real family, but I know Narnia is not their home world."

"And that was exactly why I had to send them back. On their own, each of them knew when their time here was done. They will use what they have learned from their experiences in Narnia and make a difference where they are now. I have no doubt of that."

Caspian remained quiet for a moment, staring down at the fur rug beneath his feet with an expression of uncertainty, unsure if he should speak his mind in front of Aslan or not.

"I only wish I had time more with Queen Susan before she left," he finally whispered out seconds later, a look of sadness spread across his handsome features.

"May I speak frankly with you, Your Majesty?"

"Of course," he nodded softly. "I would never reject listening to your words of wisdom."

"With the demand that's been placed in front of you, you have reached a crossroads in your life. You have met two extraordinary women, both of whom you believe could make you a very happy man, but only one of them can stand by your side until death. If Queen Susan truly is your heart's desire, as you are hers, then perhaps sending her back was the wrong thing to do, in which case I will allow her to stay. However, if Ramandu's daughter proves to be the one you're meant to spend the rest of your life with, Susan will return to her world and remember nothing from what's about to take place. I want you to spend time with both of them and choose wisely, Your Majesty, for once you've made a choice, you can never undo it. Farewell until we meet again next time."

Still looking at Aslan through the mirror in his private bedchambers, Caspian's forest brown eyes widened in shock, as a thousand questions started going through his mind about what the great Lion meant by all of this. But when he turned around to face him, Aslan was gone…vanished into thin air like he had done so many times before with the Pevensies. He was left alone once again, wondering what Aslan had just done. Did it mean that both Susan and Lilliandil were somewhere in Narnia, waiting for him to find and eventually choose one of them to be his queen?

* * *

Unable to control her own movements, Lilliandil found herself racing through the night's sky and soon plummeting towards the earth like never before, petrified that she was going to crash and be killed once she reached the ground surface.

But she wasn't.

Despite the high speed of being taken away from the night's sky, she was unharmed. Yet while she made sure nothing was broken or in need of attention, the beautiful Star gasped out when she saw the crystal blue light from her magical form disappearing. She was becoming human! Once the transformation was complete, she ran through the dark woods to a nearby lake and saw with her own eyes what had become of her. Her platinum blonde hair was shining in the moonlight; her smoky blue eyes were more noticeable than ever; her pale skin was as fair and delicate as porcelain. She was a woman now. A _real_ woman.

But how did this happen? And more importantly…why did it happen?

* * *

Slowly coming to, Susan found herself waking up with her head on top of a table covered in dozens of leatherback books. A little frightened at first, the last thing the seventeen-year-old girl remembered doing was getting ready to take a small nap, as she was tired from another party she had just attended to support the troops. She was currently wearing a midnight blue day dress that went down to her ankles, stockings, a pair of simple black heels that used to belong to her mother, some powder on her face, cherry red lipstick, mascara, pearl earrings, and her hair was pinned up in soft curls. Getting up from the wooden chair she was previously sitting in, Susan looked around and immediately noticed—despite how little light there was in the room—how familiar this library was. She had been in it before. She looked down at the books in front of her and one in particular quickly caught her eye. The open pages had a picture of her, Peter, Edmund and Lucy sitting in the throne room together at Cair Paravel during their Golden Age, which could only mean one thing—!

"I'm in Narnia!"

"Queen Susan!" a voice yelped out from behind her.

She turned around to find Doctor Cornelius, Caspian's half-Dwarf tutor and father-like figure, holding three large books in his arms and a shocked expression across his face.

"Your—Your Majesty, what are you doing here? I mean—"

"Cornelius, what's all the racket about this time?" Trumpkin started complaining when the red Dwarf entered the library. But with one look at the Gentle Queen's face, he turned as ghost white as the professor and exclaimed, "Tubs and tortoise shells! Susan! You're back!"

* * *

**A/N: **With Susan already inside the castle, who do you think Caspian will run into first? *wink*

Is my story worth continuing?

**Please review! And don't forget to cast your vote for who should end up with Caspian! Susan or Lilliandil?**


	2. Unexpected Reunions

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own anything.

**A/N: Wow! I was completely blown away by the amount of support I got from everyone who reviewed the opening chapter. Thank you so much! Readers who haven't cast a vote yet are welcome to do so in their reviews until I reach the end of the story – which, hopefully, won't be for several exciting chapters to come. :) So, I guess without further ado, let's move onto the next chapter!**

**Happy reading!**

* * *

**Chapter Two: **Unexpected Reunions

"What in the name of Aslan are you wearing, Susan?" Trumpkin wondered, staring at the Gentle Queen's 1940s dress like it was slimy Frog that just came out of a swamp.

Still in a tremendous amount of shock from realizing she was in Narnia again, with absolutely no idea how she got there, Susan lightly brushed her midnight blue day dress with her hands to make herself feel a little more presentable in front of her old friends and replied, "It's a dress from my home world. You don't like it?"

"No, you look beautiful, Your Majesty," Doctor Cornelius commented just before the Red Dwarf could make another remark of disgust. "We were both just surprised to see you here after Aslan said you would not return. Please excuse our rude behaviors."

"No, it's all right. I'm quite surprised to be here myself. How much time has passed in Narnia since I left?"

"Three years, my Queen."

"Then I presume Caspian is still the king."

"He is, and what a fine king he has become," the professor beamed with pride. "You and your siblings would be so proud."

"I already am," Susan smiled, thinking fondly of the handsome young man with the Mediterranean accent who caught her eye the first time they met in the Shuddering Woods.

"And speaking of your siblings," Trumpkin interrupted, "Caspian just came back from a voyage he's been on with Edmund and Lucy for several weeks."

"Edmund and Lucy?" she repeated, almost as if to make sure she heard the DLF correctly. "You mean they were just here in Narnia?"

"Sailing through the Lone Islands onboard the _Dawn Treader_, to be exact."

"Your younger cousin Eustace was also said to be with them," Cornelius added. "In fact, he turned out to be quite the hero."

"Eustace, a hero? The same cousin of mine who used to lock us inside closets and get us in trouble for naughty things he had done?"

"If it's not too bold to say, Your Majesty, it seems that being in Narnia taught him the error of his ways. He's a much better person now because of the obstacles he had to overcome in order to help save the land from evil."

"Just as we did from our adventures," Susan breathed out in just above a whisper.

* * *

"_You look like Mum," Lucy commented upon seeing her older sister in a pretty evergreen dress._

"_Mum hasn't had a dress like this since before the war."_

"_We should bring her one back. A whole trunk full!"_

"_If we ever get back…" Susan spoke forlornly, then turned to notice Lucy's sad facial expression. "I'm sorry I'm like that. We used to have fun together, didn't we?"_

"_Yes…before you got boring," the young girl chuckled._

"_Oh, really?" the brunette smiled, surprising her sister when she started splashing water on her gray-blue dress._

* * *

"Surely you must be tired from your travels, my Queen," Doctor Cornelius said when he noticed the gloomy look spread across Susan's pale features. "Shall I send up one of the guards to escort you to your bedchambers and make sure they've been properly prepared for you?"

"Thank you, Professor, but it's not necessary. I'm sure they will already be lovely."

"I'll go with you," Trumpkin insisted.

Susan smiled at him in appreciation, then began walking out of the library with her DLF until the red Dwarf soon stalled his forward movements and walked back over to Cornelius to whisper, "You better tell Caspian he's got a new guest in the castle."

"I will inform him of Queen Susan's arrival first thing tomorrow morning, not to worry."

"Good," Trumpkin nodded, leaving the king's tutor and most trusted advisor alone in the library with his thoughts.

* * *

Still alone in the woods, Lilliandil shivered from the cold breeze blowing through the dark trees. The night's sky was beautiful, but, without the magic from her previous form, she was freezing and needed to find some sort of warm shelter soon. Furthermore, trekking through a whispering forest on foot with absolutely no idea where she was going was something the beautiful Star had never done before. She was frightened, unsure of what was going to happen to her out in the wilderness all alone. Was this some kind of test her father wanted her to pass? Had she done something wrong or disappointed him in some way? Lilliandil didn't know, but she had a strong feeling that when she did finally find someone who could tell her where she is, she would also find the answers she's been seeking.

* * *

Sitting in front of her vanity in her private bedchambers, Susan brushed her chestnut brown locks with an elegant looking silver comb while Trumpkin stood near the bedroom door, staring at her as she quietly prepared to go to bed. With the help of her two private handmaidens earlier, the Gentle Queen rid herself of the simple day dress she was wearing before and was now dressed in a creamy white and sky blue nightgown made of satin that went down to her ankles, and a matching robe to keep herself warm against the cold night inside Caspian's castle. She washed off all of her makeup, placed her mother's old heels with her dress in a large drawer inside the fine oak side table next to her bed, and put her grandmother's pearl earrings inside the diamond-studded silver jewelry box set on top of her vanity.

Although wearing things like makeup and high heels brought a lot of attention to Susan in her home world, it was nice and even felt quite refreshing to take her makeup off without having to worry about putting it back on the following day in Narnia. It was simple things like this that made her miss the enchanted land most. In Narnia, she didn't have to worry about having all of the extra accessories just to get a boy's attention. She didn't have to worry about feeling out of place in a crowd. During her reign as High Queen of Narnia in the Golden Age, Susan was considered the most beautiful woman in the world with her natural beauty alone, and it was once again proven to still stop men in their tracks when she caught Caspian's double take the first moment they met.

Thinking of the handsome prince-turned-king once again, she couldn't help but wonder how he had been since she and her three siblings left last time. Did he have a queen now? Was he happy? How would he react once he knew she was in Narnia again?

"You're still surprised to be here, aren't you?" Trumpkin observed after watching the Gentle Queen comb through her hair in the same place for more than a minute.

Turning around in her chair, she replied with a grin, "It's not like you can tell me you weren't surprised when you and Doctor Cornelius found me in the library. You both looked like you saw the White Witch come back from the dead."

The Red Dwarf chuckled, "Can you really blame us for reacting that way after—"

"After Aslan said Peter and I would never return again because we were too old?" she finished for him in a low voice. "No, I guess not."

"And yet here you are," he reminded her. "Got any idea why that is or how it happened?"

"I wish I knew, but Aslan must have brought me back for some important reason. I mean, the only times Peter, Lucy, Edmund and I were ever called here was when Narnia was in great peril."

"Well, I'm grateful to say that's not the case this time," said Trufflehunter, the wise Badger who had just entered the room with a golden goblet half full of herbal tea that he just brewed himself. "It's good to see you again, Your Majesty."

Susan smiled, "It's good to see you again, Trufflehunter. I've missed you."

Once he handed her the hot drink, she bent down to hug him hello and thanked him for making her something to calm her nerves.

"Narnian and Telmarine alike, King Caspian has served all of his people well since your departure, my Queen, so you needn't worry."

"I'm not worried," she assured him. "I have complete faith in Caspian."

"However, I must say he has yet to find himself a queen who can match your beauty, grace and fighting spirit."

Susan blushed upon hearing this. After years of endless suitors showing up at Cair Paravel unannounced and uninvited, requesting Peter's permission to seek her hand in marriage, the Gentle Queen was no stranger to these types of compliments. Nevertheless, they still made her pale cheeks turn rosy pink every time she heard them.

"Hasn't stopped those blasted Telmarines from demanding he get married to someone else," Trumpkin grumbled to himself.

Even though he spoke in a low voice, Susan heard every word he said and turned around to focus her attention on him again. "His people have demanded he get married?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it's true," Trufflehunter nodded sadly. "Since Caspian has already been King of Narnia for three years now, the people have decided it's time he settle down and choose someone to be his bride."

Saying nothing in return, the brunette set her goblet of hot tea aside, rose from her seat, slowly walked away from her friends to the closest window in her bedchambers, and looked through the clear glass to stare at her own reflection.

"I can only imagine how much this must upset you, Your Majesty, but we all knew this day would eventually come, for a king can never provide an heir to claim his throne without a queen."

While she knew Trufflehunter's words were true, they brought no comfort to her whatsoever. After being away from Narnia so long and accepting that she would never come back, Susan was finally beginning to move on with her life. She had already been on a few dates with American soldiers who fancied her and thought she was beautiful. But to return to Narnia and come to find out that Caspian, the first boy she ever really had feelings for, had to select a woman from his kingdom to become his queen was something she was neither prepared for nor ready to face yet. But could it be possible, especially considering her sudden return to the magical land, that she was the one Caspian hoped to spend the rest of his life with? Was that why Aslan had brought her back?

Turning around, she calmly replied, "There's no need to explain, Trufflehunter. He's a king without a queen, so it's only natural for his people to want him to find someone to love and continue his family's legacy."

"But he's still in love with you, Susan," the Red Dwarf interjected, the sound of his voice was laced with more emotion than usual. "And if that pretty boy had it his way, you would be the only one he'd want to spend the rest of his life with."

Despite that his declaration made the Gentle Queen's heart soar, how could she be sure he would still feel the same way about her after they had been apart for three years in Narnia? Furthermore, how could she be sure her stay here wasn't temporary like the previous two times? What if she was only brought back to help defeat another great evil? Then daydreaming about a possible life together with Caspian would be fruitless, for she would once again return to England and he would go on living here, eventually find someone new to love, start a life with her, and build a family together. Perhaps that's what's meant to happen, and she was sent her to put her feelings for Caspian completely behind her. The only thing Susan did know was she had to see him as soon as possible. She couldn't explain it, but something was telling her Caspian would know exactly why she was here.

"I think we've said enough to Queen Susan for one night, Trumpkin, so why don't we leave so she can retire to bed?" the wise Badger suggested. "Sleep well, Your Majesty."

With that, he respectfully bowed to her and left the room in silence.

Unable to leave just yet, Trumpkin walked up to her with a saddened expression etched across his face and said, "No matter what anyone else says to convince him otherwise, he couldn't find a better woman than you."

Giving her DLF a weak smile of appreciation, she whispered, "Thank you."

* * *

"Susan…" Caspian whimpered in his sleep, tossing and turning. "No, don't leave me. Susan, no… _Susan!_"

In a flash, he shot up from his bed with sweat dampening his white nightshirt. Panting, the handsome king removed his ruby red silk covers and cotton sheets, and then swung his legs over so they were now dangling off the side of the bed. He cupped the back of his head with his hands after lowering it and shut his eyes tightly, doing his best to slow down and regulate his breathing after another intense dream he just had of finding Susan in a navy blue dress along the shore by the Eastern Sea. Together, they spent hours on the beach, talking, laughing, flirting constantly. Everything was perfect until the waves suddenly parted and Aslan appeared, telling them it was time for Susan to leave again. Caspian begged her to stay with him, but the fantasy soon turned into a nightmare when she smiled, planted a chaste kiss on his cheek, said her goodbyes before walking through the portal, and disappeared from his life again.

A soft knock at the door quickly cut Caspian off his thoughts and he rose from his bed to answer the door. Once opened, he found Doctor Cornelius in front of him, out of breath and wearing royal blue nightwear underneath his robe.

Beginning to worry, he said, "Professor, what's wrong? Are you all right?"

"A thousand apologies for the late-night intrusion, my King, but I knew this news couldn't wait until morning."

"What news? Has something happened?"

"It's Queen Susan. She's here, Your Majesty. Trumpkin and I found her earlier tonight in the library and she—"

Not needing to hear anything else, Caspian ran past his tutor and darted through the corridors of the castle in lightning-fast speed. His heart was pounding in his chest, a cold chill of anticipation was running down his spine, his breathing was heavy and irregular, his eyes were constantly moving to make sure none of the guards would follow him. He didn't want anyone disturbing them when they finally met again face-to-face. So as he kept moving, kept reaching closer to the bedchambers that were previously occupied by the Gentle Queen during her brief stay in the castle last time, it suddenly dawned on him that everything Aslan said he would do was coming true. And if Susan was already here, Lilliandil couldn't be too far behind her, which meant he would eventually have to choose between them. But following the great Lion's will was the least of his concerns right now. The only thing that mattered to Caspian at this very instance was finding Susan and proving to himself he wasn't going crazy.

Just as he was about to make his final turn into the hallway that leads directly to Susan's bedchambers, Caspian saw two guards at the other end of the hallway laughing about something ridiculous. Reacting fast, he immediately stepped backwards and pressed his body against the adjacent wall so he was no longer in their sight. As king, he knew it was foolish and quite silly for him to be hiding like this, especially since he was in his own castle, but he didn't want anyone to know where he was going or what he was doing. Even if she was sound asleep, he wanted his first moment with Susan to be private…special…a moment he'll treasure forever and always…anything except interrupted by unwanted company.

About a minute later Caspian heard the guards' voices become more distance, so he poked his head around the corner to make sure they were leaving, and sure enough they were walking away. Once he was alone again, he soundlessly made his way down the hall until he reached Susan's door. With his right hand firmly gripping onto the handle, he took one deep breath in and exhaled slowly to prepare himself before turning the brass knob. Having to assume that the beautiful queen was asleep during this late hour, he made sure to open the door as quietly as possible. But when he opened the door wide enough to look inside her dimly lit bedchambers, instead of finding the Gentle Queen fast asleep in her bed, he found her standing just beside it, as if she was about to climb in. Her bedding was pulled back halfway and she was dressed in a blue and white satin nightgown that hugged her curves in all of the right places. Her chestnut brown hair was longer, but it was just as soft and even more tempting to run his fingers through the silky threads than before. Her pale skin was as smooth and supple as he remembered it. He could hardly believe it was possible, but if it was at all, she had never looked more beautiful. And it was then that reality stuck him like a lightning bolt. His love was here…standing right in front him like she had never left. She was standing so close to him that he was almost afraid, afraid that if he was given the chance to reach out and hold her in his arms again, he'd never let go this time.

Upon noticing that her bedroom door had been opened by someone, the brunette turned her head to see who was there, only to feel her heart nearly skip a beat when she saw Caspian standing in the doorway, just a few feet away from her.

Eyes now locked in an impenetrable gaze, several moments of tension-filled silence went by between the pair before one of them could finally breathe out a single word to break the ice.

"_Susan_…"

* * *

**A/N: In the next chapter, the couple's reunion quickly heats up…until Caspian realizes they need to find Lilliandil.**

**With that said, is the story still worth continuing?**

**Please review! And remember to keep voting for who should end up with Caspian!**


	3. Dual Affections

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything.

**A/N: I can't even begin to describe how amazing it's been to receive your continued support, reviewers. Thank you so much! I never thought my story would be this well-liked, but I'm thrilled that you're all enjoying the plot so far. However, with that said, I wanted to let everyone know that this chapter marks the beginning of Caspian's love triangle and quest to choose who will become his future bride. So hold onto your hats and get ready for a bumpy ride!**

**Happy reading!**

* * *

**Chapter Three: **Dual Affections

It felt like an entire lifetime passed by before either Susan or Caspian could speak again. Barely able to breathe, their middle of the night reunion was filled with so much tension a dull knife could cut right through it. They were actually in the same room again, something neither thought would happen after the Gentle Queen returned to her own world three years earlier. Yet here they were, standing in her bedchambers, breathing in the same space, as they attempted to find the right words to make this reality seem possible.

"Is it really you, my love?" Caspian finally spoke out, still staring at her with shock and uncertainty. "Or am I dreaming again?"

"I…I don't know," Susan replied softly, noticing the change in his accent while wishing she had her robe on to cover up her thin – and rather revealing – satin nightgown. "I've been asking myself the same thing since I woke up in the library."

"Then if it is a dream…" he said, stepping further into the room until he stood right in front of her, so close now that their bodies were almost pressed up against one another. "…I hope I never wake up this time."

Not giving it another thought, the handsome king cupped the back of her neck, dipped his head low, and caught Susan's lips in a searing kiss. She was surprised by his sudden, bold move, but only at first. Seconds later, she found herself giving in and kissing him with just as much passion. His hands soon traveled to the small of her back and ran up and down her sides, almost as if he was trying to mold their bodies together…make them as physically close as possible. She quickly responded by wrapping her slender arms around his neck and standing on her tiptoes. But as kisses became more intense, more fervent with every passing second, it took every ounce of Caspian's inner strength not to give into his most primitive desires and take the Gentle Queen on her bed until neither one of them had a single breath left in them. He wouldn't, though – not until he was absolutely positive it was something she wanted too.

When Susan somehow managed to moan out his name between kisses, he thought for sure that would be his undoing. And as her hands found their way to Caspian's dark tresses and began raking her fingers through it, he dipped his head even lower to shower her neck and shoulders with soft kisses. Susan tilted her head back to give him more access, which delighted him, encouraged him to take things further. Even though his short beard tickled her, the feel of his lips still started fires everywhere they came in contact with her porcelain skin, driving her mad with desire. Not realizing it, he soon had her backside pressed against the wall next to her side table, thereby trapping her in one place. The cobblestones felt cool against Susan's skin, making her gasp out in surprise, but Caspian quickly silenced her cries by capturing her lips in another breathtaking kiss. He grabbed a fistful of the soft material from her long nightgown, hiked it up until the hem was about mid-thigh, then firmly gripped onto her hips, and within seconds, he lifted her up so that she was now eye level with him and her long legs were firmly wrapped around his waist. While his calloused hands began grazing up her silky smooth legs, sinking him further down into the point of no return, Susan used her shaky fingers to undo the buttons to his white nightshirt. Once finished, she slowly removed the article clothing from his body and carelessly let it drop to the floor beside them. When lack of air finally forced them to part, Susan took a moment to gaze upon his shirtless form in the moonlight. With a well-made chest and muscles rippling, Caspian was more handsome than her dreams could have ever imagined.

Breath ragged, eyes smoldering with lust, he whispered just cementers away from her lips, "You have no idea…how many nights I've dreamt…to have you back in my arms again."

As a chill ran down her spine, it took the Gentle Queen a moment to catch her breath before she could speak. "It almost doesn't seem real, though. I keep feeling like this is a dream and any minute now I'm going to wake up and be back in my home world."

"No, I promise you this is real, my love."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because what I feel for you is the most real thing I've ever known."

Believing him, she smiled, "Caspian…"

"You are so beautiful, Susan…" he whispered softly, caressing her cheek with his thumb.

Just when he was about to kiss her sweet lips once more and pick up where they left off, the word 'beautiful' struck a chord. Reality hitting him like a rock, his eyes widened with shock and he instantly remembered—

"Lilliandil!"

* * *

When the guards reported that they couldn't find a shining blue Star in the sky, he decided to send a small search party east, the opposite way he and Susan mutually agreed to go and search for Lilliandil together, for he knew she couldn't be too far. And while the young king rode his faithful horse Destrier, the Gentle Queen rode Orion, a brown steed who immediately reminded her of Phillip, Edmund's old horse from their Golden Age—without the excessive talking, of course. The pair was armed with their bows, now dressed in warm clothing for their midnight expedition. Once they were fully prepared to leave the castle, they headed into the forest and began their exploration.

Still hoping to find Lilliandil in the night's sky with the rest of the Stars, Caspian gazed upon the vast space as they rode through the woods, but his prayers were in vain when he could not locate her anywhere. What plagued Susan's mind most during their scavenger hunt, though, was Caspian's concern over the female Star. It was the type of concern a man would have over his wife. But just like she would with Peter if he were in Narnia, she respected his wishes and wanted to do what she could to help him locate her.

More than two hours of searching went by before the brunette suddenly stopped Orion, which forced Caspian to halt Destrier as well.

"What's wrong?" he wondered.

"Nothing. I just have a feeling that maybe Lilliandil isn't in this—"

"Lilliandil!" Caspian yelled out in concern after he spotted her a few dozen yards away.

He galloped straight towards her and jumped off to help her as soon as Destrier reached her side. Taking her into his arms, he immediately noticed how cold she was. The shining blue light from her magical form was gone; she was human, and only Aslan knew long how she had been out in this cold weather.

"Are you all right?"

"I'm f-f-fine, Your Majesty," she stuttered, shivering.

"No, you're not. You're freezing," he gently argued, rubbing her arms with his hands for warmth.

The platinum blonde snuggled closer to the handsome king while he continued to try and warm her up. Meanwhile, Susan watched the pair on her horse for a few moments before climbing down. She noticed the look in Caspian's eye – that same kind of wistful look he had given her just before she and her siblings returned to England the last time she was in Narnia. The eldest Queen of Old had no idea how long or how well they knew each other, but she could tell there was something between them. A connection. The feeling pierced her heart, but Susan knew she couldn't hold any sort of animosity towards this young woman, especially when she knew nothing about her. Instead, she would do what was right and try to be helpful in her time of need.

"Here, take this," she said gently, offering her a large wool blanket that she packed in her knapsack.

She wrapped it around Lilliandil's shoulders and the Star gave her a small smile in appreciation.

"Thank y-you for your kind-kindness, my lady."

"You're welcome."

* * *

After making sure Lilliandil had taken a hot bath, was given something hot to eat and drink, and was in bed with a fire to help keep her warm throughout the rest of the night, Susan decided to see Caspian once more before retiring to bed. Not to her surprise, she found him still awake in his private bedchambers, standing in front of the fireplace with his right hand holding onto the wooden mantle while his forehead was pressed against his hand. She could tell by his facial expression that he was deep in thought, possibly even troubled by everything that had happened in the last few hours.

"Lilliandil is resting now," the Gentle Queen softly announced upon entering the room, which immediately caused Caspian to look up at her. "She should be fine by morning."

"Thank you," he replied in gratitude. "After everything she's been through tonight, I'm sure Lilliandil will be just as appreciative for your help as I am when she wakes up tomorrow."

Susan nodded, "She seems like a very sweet girl."

"I agree."

A moment of silence passed between them before he stepped away from the fireplace, realizing that she probably came into his bedchambers for a specific reason. "Oh, forgive me. Did you need something before going to bed?"

Exhaling, she did her best not to let her jealous emotions get the best of her. "You say that like you don't remember what happened between us the last time we were alone in the same room together."

Caspian bowed his head in shame for compromising her honor and taking the pleasurable moment away so abruptly. He wanted nothing more than to show her how much he missed her, how much he still loved her, how much he still longed to hold her in his arms, but remembering that Lilliandil was still yet to be found stopped him from doing so. It was immature and completely selfish on his part to put Susan in that position, no matter how much she seemed to reciprocate his feelings.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. I never should have put you in that position, especially so soon after you arrived."

"What we were doing before isn't what's troubling me, Caspian. It's what you realized right before we were about to…"

Unable to finish the sentence, Susan looked away from him, afraid of what she might do upon locking eyes with the handsome king.

He wasn't surprised by her upset. If anything, Caspian was almost expecting it. And in a small way he was pleased him to hear her say the words because they confirmed what he already believed to be true. She wanted to be with him as much as he wanted to be with her. Such news had never once filled his heart with more joy or brought more agony upon it. Her confession was both wonderful and painful, both uplifting and torturing, for now he was facing one of the most important decisions he'll ever have to make as a man and a king. Choosing between Susan and Lilliandil was going to be the hardest choice he'd ever have to make, but it was a decision he ultimately brought upon himself. Aslan may have been the one who brought them to him, but it was his affections towards both women that put him in this exact position.

"It's not that I'm upset we went looking for Lilliandil," Susan continued, wanting to make her point clear. "What upsets me is you already knew we needed to find her. Somehow you knew she was out there all alone by herself, and yet you still came running to me first."

_As if he was expecting her…._

That's when the truth suddenly dawned on her.

"You knew I was coming back to Narnia, didn't you?"

"Yes," he admitted quietly.

"How long have you known?"

"Only for a few hours," he spoke up in a firmer tone this time, doing his best to defend himself. "Aslan came to me earlier tonight—"

"And he brought me back. He brought both of us to your doorstep."

"My love, I swear I didn't know. I had no idea Aslan would do something like this."

"Would do something like what? What has he done? Why has he brought us here?"

Caspian didn't make a sound; he suddenly couldn't bring himself to say the truth after disappointing Susan so much already.

Sensing his unease, the Gentle Queen stepped forward and cupped his cheek. He pressed her hand to his face to hold it there and finally met her gaze. Yet instead of finding anger and resentment in her crystal blue eyes, they were filled with love and tenderness. And just by looking into her eyes, he could see how much she regretted acting so livid with him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

Taking her hand into his own, he planted a featherlight kiss on her knuckles. "It is I who should be apologizing to you, Your Majesty. Please forgive my weakness."

"May I tell you something?"

"Of course."

"When Peter, Edmund, Lucy and I began our reign over Narnia in the Golden Age, we made a promise to never keep secrets from one another. We would tell each other everything so that no matter what adversity we faced as rulers, the one thing we could always count on would be each other's trust."

"And now you're asking me to abide by the same code."

"Well, if I ask you a question, will you give me an honest answer?"

"Yes."

"Do you also have feelings for Lilliandil?"

* * *

**A/N: So what's in store for the next chapter? Let's see!**

**While Caspian contemplates telling Susan and Lilliandil the truth about why Aslan sent them his way, the girls find themselves bonding as they share their past experiences in Narnia with one another. **

**Please review! And remember to keep voting for who should end up with Caspian!**


	4. The Ugly Truth

**Disclaimer:** Yeah, I still don't own anything.

**A/N: Again, wow! Your support has been amazing, you guys. Thank you! Now, before I get this chapter going I wanted to let everyone that Lilliandil will have a much larger role to play in the story from here onward, and knowing me, the love triangle between her, Susan and Caspian will become more intense with every new chapter. But, unlike many other Susan/Caspian/Ramandu's daughter love triangle fanfics, I didn't want to see the girls hating each other and constantly fighting over Caspian. Instead, I've decided to watch them bond and become friends while Caspian is caught between them, starting with this chapter. :D Anyways, I really hope it was worth the wait and I'll try to update faster next time.**

**Happy reading!**

* * *

**Chapter Four: **The Ugly Truth

After not getting much sleep the night before, Susan woke up to clear blue, sunny skies the following morning. The guards and servants who didn't already know about the Gentle Queen's return were quite shocked, but all welcomed her with warmth and kindness. It was wonderful to be back in Narnia again, to be back with Caspian, Trumpkin, Trufflehunter, and the rest of her Narnian friends, to be back in the one place she and her siblings truly considered home. But meeting Lilliandil and noticing Caspian's obvious affections toward this new girl made her realized how much had changed since she left. And while she wasn't entirely happy by this, she wasn't angry by her presence either. After all, it wasn't Lilliandil's fault that the handsome king had feelings for her too.

* * *

"_Do you also have feelings for Lilliandil?"_

_Caspian was a stone while she waited for him to respond. He couldn't breathe a word to her, let alone speak. His silence spoke volumes, though. Susan now knew her first instinct about the pair was true. And he couldn't deny it—not when she could see the truth so clearly in his eyes. He was in love with her. It was a different kind of love, but he loved Lilliandil nonetheless. The only question that remained unanswered was why Aslan decided to send them to Caspian in the first place. _

"_Why didn't you tell me about this before?"_

"_There is no excuse for not telling you the truth sooner, Your Majesty. I was just swept away with so many emotions after I had been told you were back in Narnia. I didn't want it to be another dream, so I allowed my…desires get the best of me instead of being honest with you and telling you that I was beginning to fall for someone else."_

"_Beginning to fall? You mean, you just met her?"_

_He nodded, "While I was sailing through the Lone Islands with your younger siblings. Edmund was quite taken with her as well."_

_Giving him a small smile, she wondered, "Are you trying to get yourself out of trouble by informing me that my brother fancied her too?"_

"_Of course not," he chuckled. "I may be a fool at times, but I am not that big of a fool."_

"_You're not a fool, Caspian. You just met someone else since I've been away. It was bound to eventually happen anyway." _

"_But I didn't want it happen like this, my love," he spoke out passionately, taking her into his strong arms. "Not when I've finally got you back in my life again."_

"_You don't know how happy it makes me feel to hear you say that…" she softly replied, putting on a brave face for him before whispering, "…but we both know I won't stay here forever."_

* * *

Walking through the castle's long corridors and wide archways, Susan soon came across a small courtyard where Lilliandil was standing, silently watching a blue jay bathe itself in a ceramic birdbath. She was currently dressed in long, sky blue dress with silver embroidery and her hair was partially braided. And although she looked quite content, the Gentle Queen decided to visit her for a little bit and make sure she was indeed feeling better. Making sure not to disturb her while she was busy watching the little bird clean itself, she remained quiet. When the blue jay was finished a few moments later, he flapped his small wings and flew away. Upon his departure, the former Star turned around to leave the courtyard, only to be startled when she found Susan standing right in front of her.

"High Queen Susan," Lilliandil gasped, placing a hand over her heart. "Oh, forgive me. I did not know you were there."

"No, it's my fault. I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to know how you were feeling today."

"Still adjusting, but I am feeling much better now. Thank you for asking, Your Majesty."

"There's no need for formalities, Lilliandil. You can call me Susan."

"Of course, Your Maje—Susan."

"Caspian was really worried about you last night before we found you in the woods."

"I did not mean to worry him, but I must admit I am a little curious as to how he knew I was out there."

Giving her a coy smile, the brunette replied, "You're not the only one."

* * *

His decision to tell Susan and Lilliandil the truth should have been an easy one. So why was he so conflicted? Why was the fear of their reactions once they knew the truth torturing him so? He wanted to be forthright, to come clean about Aslan's decision to send them his way, but Caspian couldn't help but be afraid. What if they hated him for it? He knew he shouldn't allow "what-ifs" to haunt him like this, that he shouldn't borrow trouble and automatically assume they'll be cross with him. But Caspian couldn't help but feel this way, especially when he cared for both women so very much. He couldn't bear it if they loathed him for creating a situation where they had absolutely no input whatsoever.

Susan had been gone for three years and she had accepted the fact she was never coming back to Narnia. She and Peter had learned everything they could in the magical land last time they were here. They were too old to ever return, just as Lucy and Edmund were now, too. Yet here she was again. And Lilliandil…. How could he let Aslan rip her from the sky and take away the light from her enchanted form without her approval? Neither Susan nor Lilliandil deserved to be treated like some prize to be won, or be placed in a contest to win his heart. But they did deserve the truth, for he could never truly lie to either one of them, no matter how awful the outcome may be.

* * *

"If you do not mind me asking, Susan," Lilliandil said while the two sat on a marble bench and ate a late breakfast together in the courtyard, which included warm biscuits with strawberry jam and apple spice wine. "I have always wondered what it was like to live in Narnia during the Golden Age."

"Like living in a dream," the Gentle Queen smiled, thinking fondly of the good memories she made with her siblings during their fifteen-year reign. "The trees were always dancing, and the fauns were always laughing and making beautiful music. Peter and I would take Edmund and Lucy down to the beach at least once every week, and we would all play in the water until we were so soaked we'd have to spend half the day in the sun to completely dry off. We went riding through the woods together all the time. We formed strong alliances with the neighboring countries. And we used to always say that bringing peace to Narnia was the greatest thing we ever did with our lives."

"Was High King Peter really as magnificent as the legends say he is?"

"Yes," Susan nodded with a cherry smile on her face. "He was everything Aslan said he would be and more. Peter never made a command decision without the rest of our opinions, including Mr. Tumnus and the Beavers. He protected us like a father would protect his children. Like everyone else, though, my brother had his faults too. He was incredibly stubborn and arrogant at times. He always had this competitive streak in him, especially when it came to playing in the tournaments. But there was no one better to lead Narnia. He was an amazing king."

"Was it true he would scare off every emissary that came to Cair Paravel who spoke for a prince or king seeking your hand in marriage?"

"With his sword if necessary," she admitted quietly, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink from being embarrassed. "I had many suitors who wanted to court me during our reign, and while that never pleased Peter, I think his biggest fear was that they were only using me for political gain."

"But you never did get married, did you?"

"No, because I didn't love any of them. My mother always taught me that you needed to be in love when you got married."

"It sounds like your mother is a very wise woman."

"What about your family? Where are your mother and father?"

"I have never met my mother, but I have lived with my father for most of my life on his island."

"And what was it like growing up there?"

"Paradise, my Queen," the Star beamed, briefly resting her hand on top of Susan's. "The island had gentle hills covering the entire terrain, with slopes that almost felt like pillows whenever you took a step. The smell of jasmine, lavender, and lilacs filled the air, and birds were always chirping. And every morning before dawn, my father and I would sing a song he taught me as a little girl to help the Southern Sun rise."

"It sounds beautiful, Lilliandil."

"Until the evil from Dark Island started corrupting all goodness throughout the Lone Islands and the rest of Narnia, it was, Your Majesty. It really was."

"I only wish I had been here sooner to help Caspian and my younger siblings defeat the evil."

"So why are you here now?"

She had her guesses, but until she knew for sure, the Gentle Queen refused to worry herself or Lilliandil.

"I don't know…"

* * *

After Caspian had been informed of Susan and Lilliandil's whereabouts from Trufflehunter, surprised to learn that they were eating breakfast together in one of the courtyards, the nervous king made his way through the castle until he finally reached his destination. The girls were giggling over something humorous as he came over to them, so deep in conversation that they didn't even hear him walk across the grass until he stood right in front of them. When this happened, they looked up with smiles on their faces, happy and clearly enjoying one another's company.

"Good morning, Your Majesty," Lilliandil greeted him first.

"Morning, Caspian," Susan added.

In spite of the fact that he had feelings for both of them, it still amazed Caspian how different his feelings for them were. While Lilliandil's presence always left him in a dreamlike trance, Susan tantalized him, seduced him, with every graceful move she made. But when he knew naiads would easily surrender their sacred place in nature to be just as beautiful, quick-witted and kind as Susan and Lilliandil, it shouldn't surprise anyone that he fell for them both.

Yet, no matter how much Caspian understood that this needed to be done, the very thought that he was about to wipe the beautiful smiles off their faces was already crushing his spirit and breaking his heart into pieces. Aslan would tell him it's right decision, though. And for that, Caspian would find the strength to tell Susan and Lilliandil the truth about why they're residing in his kingdom.

"May I speak with you both for a few moments?"

"Yes," the girls said together in unison.

"Thank you," he nodded his head nervously, taking a brief pause before moving forward. "I know you both have been wondering why you were brought here and how I knew you were coming."

Susan shifted her weight on the marble bench to face Caspian more properly, while she and Lilliandil continued to listen to him.

"I have been struggling over whether or not I should tell you the truth ever since I found out you were here, but I ultimately realized that I couldn't keep secrets from either of you, which is why I've decided to come to you now."

As another few moments of stillness passed between the trio, neither woman pressed Caspian to spit the truth out. They could both sense his unease and conflicted thoughts about being honest, the pressure building up more with every passing second he let go by in silence.

"The truth is…I have been torn by feelings for both of you ever since I returned home and my people demanded that it was time I settle down and choose someone to become my queen. Aslan knew all this, so he decided that the only way I could choose between you was to bring you both here. He asked that I spend time with you, and that when I eventually knew which one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, she will become my future queen while the other returns home with no memory of what's happened."

"Aslan brought us here so that you could choose between me and High Queen Susan?" Lilliandil asked, a look of shock written across her facial features.

"Yes."

Bowing his head in shame for what he had helped cause, Caspian half-expected at least one of the girls to slap him across the face or yell at him in outrage until dusk, when Susan said the very last thing he expected to hear.

"Choose Lilliandil."

Snapping his head up to stare at her in disbelief, "What?"

"I want you to choose Lilliandil."

* * *

**A/N: You know, if I wasn't such a cruel person when it came to my writing, I probably wouldn't have left things here. But I am, so I did! Lol! XD  
**

**Please review!**


	5. Matters of the Heart

**Disclaimer:** Yeah, I still don't own anything.

**A/N: **I know the previous chapter's cliffhanger took everyone by surprise last week, but I thought in keeping with Susan's character it fit well in the story. Anyways, I just wanted to say thank you for all of your continued support and I hope you'll enjoy this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter Five:** Matters of the Heart

"I… I don't understand…" Caspian breathed out after the initial shock of Susan's last words finally sunk in. "Why do you want me to choose Lilliandil without doing what Aslan asks first?"

"I am afraid I do not follow either, my Queen," the Star added softly. "Why do you think he should choose me over you? Compared to you, he barely knows me."

"Because it's the right choice," the brunette replied. "Lilliandil, you are a beautiful, kind-hearted and intelligent young woman. I can see how much Caspian cares for you, and I have no doubt that you will make a wonderful Queen of Narnia, just as I'm sure Aslan thinks you will."

"But that's not the whole reason why you believe she should become my queen instead of you, is it?" Caspian questioned her in a firmer tone than before, his eyes pinned on her like a hawk gazing at its prey in the sky. "There's something you're not telling us."

"It's the only thing you need to know," Susan retorted, as she began stepping away from them. "I need to leave. Excuse me."

The handsome yet melancholy king watched as his first love left the courtyard quietly. Unsure of what to do, he remained standing by Lilliandil's side until she finally spoke up again.

"We have much to discuss, Your Majesty, but right now Queen Susan needs you. Go to her and find out what is really troubling her. I will be ready to speak with you whenever you are ready to see me again."

"You are most kind, Lady Lilliandil," he gently bowed his head. Taking her hand into his own, Caspian planted a light kiss on her knuckles, then added, "I won't be long."

The beautiful Star smiled upon hearing this and nodded, watching as the young king exited the small courtyard to search for Susan.

"Good luck."

* * *

Walking through the long corridors of the castle, Caspian finally made it to Susan's private bedchambers, expecting to find her there. He knocked on her door, but when no response came, he decided to check for himself and see if she was in her room or not. Taking a quick look inside, Caspian saw that no one was inside. He was just about the close the door and leave to ask the guards where she went, when he suddenly heard someone softly crying out on the balcony. Knowing it was Susan, the worried king opened the door all the way this time and let himself in, gently closing it behind him. Then, after he quietly walked across her bedroom, Caspian found the eldest Pevensie girl sobbing and wiping each tear that slid down her cheeks. Even though her back was facing him, it broke his heart to see his beloved Susan crying. He wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms, dry her tears, and tell her everything was going to be all right. But he couldn't do that—he couldn't say everything was going to be all right when he didn't even know what the future held for them. Susan was with him now, still within arm's length, but how long would that last? For the rest of their lives if he chose her over Lilliandil, he reminded himself.

"I'm sorry for the pain I have caused you, my love," he apologized with remorse, revealing his presence to the Gentle Queen after watching her cry for several moments.

Turning around to see him on her private balcony, she cried out his name and said, "What are you doing here?"

Her eyes were red and puffy from her crying, her cheeks were pink and tearstained, but despite her upset, she was still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

"I never meant to hurt you."

"Well, you finally got around to it anyway, didn't you?"

Caspian hadn't seen her cross with him since the day he and Peter almost brought the White Witch back from the dead. He couldn't stand seeing her this way, for someone as beautiful as Susan should never be so sad.

"My feelings for Lilliandil—"

"Lilliandil isn't the problem here, Caspian," she snapped at him before he could finish. "It's you. You lied to me."

"But I never said—"

"A lie by omission is still a lie. You knew Aslan was sending Lilliandil and I here so you could choose between us, but you didn't tell me that when I asked you last night. And if you weren't honest with me then, how am I supposed to trust you now?"

"You have every right in the world to be me angry with me, I know that. But you can't use your anger over what I have done and think I am not going to see that you're doing the exact same thing to me."

Infuriated by his accurate accusation, she refused to say anything in reply, turned her heels, and left the balcony to go back into her bedchambers.

Following her, he continued to press her for the truth. "You cannot run away from this like the way Peter chased off your suitors, Susan. We have to face this situation together."

She spun around to face him again with daggers in her cerulean blue eyes. "Face this situation together? Do you any idea what you've done, Caspian? For Merlin's sake, you've forced Lilliandil and I into—into a beauty contest to figure out which one of us is more fitted to be your future queen! You've cornered us into a love triangle where we had absolutely no say in the matter!"

"And if there was one part of this that I could go back and change, I never would have told Aslan that I have feelings for both of you."

"Don't you dare try and tell me you have no romantic feelings for Lilliandil when you've already admitted you do and I've seen the way you look at her."

"I would never do that," his eyes burning with passion. Seconds later, though, the Gentle Queen watched as his facial features suddenly softened and he raised his right hand to caress her cheek. "But I would be lying if I didn't say that a part of my heart still belongs to you. It has since the first moment we met, my love."

The sound of his tender voice lowering her defensive shields, Susan finally began to level with him. "Things are different now, Caspian. I shouldn't even be here anymore, and you've found someone new to love. Isn't that enough?"

"If I didn't still love you," he whispered softly, his face drawing closer to hers. "The problem is I do. I have never stopped loving you."

"I love you too…" she started to confess, "…but we have to face facts. We have to be strong and move on with our lives like we were doing before I came back."

"Move on? You mean, forget? Forget everything we've been through together? Forget everything we've meant to each other? Is that what you're asking me to do? To forget about you?"

"What difference does it make? If you choose Lilliandil, then I will return home and forget everything that took place while I was here anyway. Things will go back to the way they were, except you'll finally have a queen."

"Yes, but, unlike you, I will not have the luxury of forgetting everything that happened between us while you were here! My memories of you will not be erased, so no matter what happens, no matter who I ultimately choose to spend the rest of my life with, I will still love you. Until the day I die, Susan, I will love you!"

"Just leave me alone! Leave me alone and let me go home!"

Stepping away from him, the distraught queen covered her face with her hands and felt the tears come, unable to take another minute of their quarreling. She was trying to do what was best for both of them, and yet he refused to listen. Instead, he'd rather keep her in Narnia, where she and Lilliandil would be standing at opposite sides in his heart while he tried to choose between them, and she just couldn't deal with that. It was too much to bear.

"Please…" she whispered, uncovering her face to expose the tears that had begun falling down her cheeks. "Please, just go. Start a new life together with Lilliandil and be happy. I know she can make you happy, and that's what I want for you."

He walked up to her again, and when he was standing right in front of her, Susan averted her eyes so she couldn't look him directly in the eye. He refused to let her look away this time, though. Using his forefinger, he lifted her chin back up to meet his soulful gaze. One look into her crystal blue eyes, however, and Caspian found himself being drawn in by her beauty like a moth to the flame. Then in one swift but ever so gentle motion, his lips brushed hers, the kiss sending waves of pleasure throughout his body. Yet unlike their kisses from the night before, which were filled with urgency and yearning, this kiss was soft and sweet. It melted away all fear and anxiety, left everything they were previously arguing about in the dust. Both felt peace in one another's warm embrace; they felt safe and loved. It was a moment of pure bliss, a moment Caspian would have considered perfect until—

"No…" she abruptly pulled away before walking away from him. "This isn't right. We shouldn't be doing this."

"But we love each other."

"It doesn't matter. I won't betray Lilliandil like this. She's a sweet girl, someone worthy of becoming a Queen of Narnia. I am not going to allow you to hurt her just so you can share a fleeting moment of passion with me."

"We will feel…" he started, taking her back into his strong arms, "…it is more than just a fleeting moment of passion, Susan. It's love, and my love for you runs deeper than all the magic in Narnia combined."

"And what about your feelings for Lilliandil?"

"I…feel something for her too, yes, but it's—"

Shaking her head, Susan refused to listen to any more. "I can't do this."

The Gentle Queen brushed just past him in her destination for the door when the sound of his voice stopped her.

"I still want to know why you want me to choose Lilliandil over you."

"Does it really matter?" she questioned him with her back still facing him.

"Yes, it does matter, because if you are really willing to throw away everything we shared together during the Narnian Revolution, every moment we have shared together up to this point, I deserve to know why that is."

With tears now in her eyes, the brunette slowly turned around and whispered softly, "She deserves you more than I do."

"What?" he questioned her with a look of shock across his face. "How can you say that? How can you say that after everything you've done for Narnia and for your family? How can you say that after everything you did to help me claim my throne back from Miraz?"

"Because it's the truth," she replied as tears kept falling down her cheeks. "Lilliandil deserves you more than I do. She's the one you should be with."

Caspian couldn't believe his ears. Susan was actually sacrificing herself—sacrificing her love for him—because she thought someone else deserved him more and could make him happier than he would be with her. And while it almost broke his heart to think that she may really feel this way, it was most noble thing anyone had ever done for him.

"It is I who is unworthy of you …either of you, Your Majesty. I have been selfish and dishonest in my quest to keep you close when I should have been truthful from the very beginning. It's just…I've missed you so much these past three years. Both times I watched you and your siblings leave Narnia, it was as if a part of me died inside. Your family is the closest thing I've had to a real family. But when Aslan told me last night that he was bringing you back…and I kissed you, all was right again in the world. At least, until I remembered that I also needed to find Lilliandil. That was when I finally realized how much had changed since you left, for finding her was the only thing that mattered to me, and I felt guilty about that later on because I felt like I was betraying my feelings for you."

"I know you're in love with both of us."

"But what's worse is I do not know how to choose between you."

Susan's door suddenly opened and Lilliandil appeared in her bedchambers. "Then perhaps that is not Aslan's main objective."

"What do you mean?"

"I believe it is possible he actually brought both of us here to help teach you an important lesson."

"About what?"

"How to listen to your heart."

Caspian was about to speak up again when the sound of water swooshing around in Susan's private washroom stopped him. As the sound continued getting louder, the trio remained quiet yet puzzled by what could be making the noise, especially when there was no one previously occupying the room. However, when it sounded like someone was getting out of Susan's tub, the girls began to feel nervous. They unconsciously drew closer to Caspian, while the young king was tempted to go see who or what was in there. So after he motioned for the girls to stay where they were, he moved towards the door…until he saw the brass doorknob turning. The door opened, stopping Caspian in his tracks, and a young man with sandy blond hair, drenched from head to toe, appeared in the doorway.

Immediately recognizing who it was, Susan covered her mouth with her right hand and was only able to whisper one word in response.

"_Peter._"

* * *

**A/N: Hmm... I wonder how that lesson is gonna go now that Peter's in the story. LOL! **

**Please review!**


	6. Bonding Moments

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own anything.

**A/N:** I know many of you thought that with Peter's sudden appearance in the story Lilliandil might be later paired up with him, but I have _no_ intention of doing that whatsoever. This is a Susan/Caspian/Lilliandil love triangle fanfic and it's going to stay that way—at least until Caspian finally makes his choice. :) By the way, I'm really sorry for the lack of updates lately. I've been sick with pneumonia, plus I went back to school on the 24th, so I'm sure you can understand now why I haven't been updating the story as frequently. Anyways, I really hope all of you enjoy this next chapter, especially now that Peter's in the story. Watch out, Caspian! Lol! :D

Happy reading!

* * *

**Chapter Six: **Bonding Moments

"C-Caspian?" Peter choked out after he brushed away a few wet bangs from his forehead. "Su?"

"Peter," she said with a half-smile, making her way towards her older brother's side.

Despite his being soaked, Susan wrapped her arms around his frame and embraced him tightly. The Gentle Queen had no idea how much she missed him until now. They had just been together not a day earlier with their parents in America, but it had felt like ages since then. Peter had always been her protector, her savior, the one person she could turn to when things seemed bleak, just as he could with her. Yet now that he was in Narnia, she could only imagine what the High King would do to Caspian if he ever found out he was caught between her and Lilliandil. He could tear him limb from limb, beat him to a bloody pulp, threaten to kill him if he ever touched her again—Lion's Mane, the possibilities were endless! Peter had always acted like an overprotective father with his younger siblings, but more so with Susan because suitors had been seeking her hand in marriage since her first year as High Queen. To fill the void for their absent mother and father during their first adventure in Narnia, Peter and Susan did their best to serve as parental-like figures in Lucy and Edmund's lives until they all reached adulthood. There was a special bond between them, and somehow Aslan must have known Susan needed her brother's strength and wisdom now more than ever to help cope with the situation Caspian had unwittingly put her and Lilliandil in.

Judging by the vice grip coming from his sister's bear hug, Peter automatically knew something was troubling her. Something had happened since she had been in Narnia. He didn't know what that troubling information was, but as soon as he and Susan were alone, Peter was determined to uncover the truth and help her in any way possible.

Pulling away from her, he asked, "What are we doing in Narnia, Su? I thought Aslan said we could never come back again."

"It's a long story," she sidestepped his question, not wanting to get into the details right now. "We'll talk about it later. You need to get changed anyway, but first there's someone I'd like you to meet." Susan turned her attention back to the young woman she had just been bonding with an hour earlier and said, "This is Lilliandil. She's a friend of Caspian's…and mine."

The female Star smiled upon hearing this, and then bowed to show her respects to the legendary High King. "It is a pleasure to finally meet you, Your Majesty."

"Thank you," he bowed his head in return. "It's a pleasure to meet you too."

"Crows and crockery!" Trumpkin exclaimed upon entering Susan's bedchambers and seeing Peter present. "Every time I walk into uh room now, another one of ya pops up outta nowhere!"

The four young adults all laughed after hearing this, amused by his reaction.

"Stop doin' that! It's freaking me out!"

* * *

About two hours later Peter was dry and in fresh clothes, wearing maroon-colored Narnian attire with gold embroidery. Once again, the guards and servants were utterly surprised to see the High King in their presence, but everyone welcomed him with cheerful hospitality. When he finally made his way back to Susan's private bedchambers, he knocked on her door, calling out her name, and she told him to come in.

With a smile on his face, he entered her room and said, "Good as new."

"I'm glad," she grinned, coming over to kiss him hello on the cheek.

"How long have you been here, Su?"

"Since last night," she briefly replied. "I went to take a nap in my room like I told Mum, then the next I know I'm waking up here."

"Do you know why we're here?"

"Yes," she answered with unease, which he quickly noticed.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"I was sent here by Aslan so Caspian could choose between Lilliandil and I."

"What do you mean choose between you and Lilliandil?"

Knowing full well what could happen after she told her brother the truth, Susan was still very reluctant to come clean with him. She didn't have to remind herself that Peter was only trying to look after her, that he was just being his usual overprotective self whenever a suitor came her way, but if he knew Aslan brought her here because Caspian couldn't decide between her and a beautiful Star, the kingdom should start preparing for their ruler's funeral now! She would never—and could never—lie to Peter, though. After all, he was more than just her older brother… he was her best friend.

"Caspian is in love with both of us, and because of that he's been torn between Lilliandil and I ever since his people recently announced that it was time he choose a queen. Aslan apparently knew all of this, so he came to him last night, and after telling him that he was going to bring both of us here, he asked Caspian to spend time with me and Lilliandil so he could properly decide which one of us he wants to become his future bride."

* * *

Walking out of the throne room with the lords on his counsel after an important meeting on foreign affairs, Caspian saw Lilliandil standing alone, looking out at the kingdom from the terrace. She turned around upon hearing their voices come outside, smiled and warmly greeted each of the lords who came up her to introduce themselves. Once the handsome, bearded king was finished bidding goodbye to all of the lords, he walked over to Lilliandil, and immediately realized he still owed her an explanation. They were alone, with not even a guard around to disturb them, and while it felt pleasant to be in her presence, everytime he was around her now, Caspian couldn't help but also think of Susan. After all, there were so many similarities between them—their crystal blue eyes and pearly white skin, their gentle smile and infectious laughter, their timeless beauty and elegant grace. He cursed himself for loving two women at the same time, but how could he not when they were both so similar?

"Good afternoon, Your Majesty," she curtsied.

"Lady Lilliandil," he bowed his head in return. "Where are High King Peter and his sister?"

"Talking, I believe. High King Peter wished to speak with Queen Susan privately after he got changed."

"Then would I be correct in assuming you came here because you wished to speak with me about what I told you earlier?"

The Star smiled, turning back around to look out beyond the terrace. "I came here because I wanted to see the kingdom. Until now, I have never been outside the Lone Islands. It's more beautiful than I ever could have imagined."

He walked up to the terrace to stand beside her and he softly said, "I'm glad you like it."

"Most humans take certain things like living in a safe, happy community for granted. To always have someone there for you…that is something Aslan's magic can never give us."

"You lived alone on your father's island?"

"Oh, please do not misunderstand me… I loved living on my father's island. It is my home. But even though I had my father and growing up there felt like paradise, I was still very lonely."

"You wouldn't know this, but my mother died shortly after I was born, and my uncle killed my father in his sleep when I was just a boy."

"I am so sorry," Lilliandil whispered, covering her mouth to show how shocked she was. "That must have been devastating for you."

"And until I met the Kings and Queens of Old, I had no real friends either."

"Sounds like we both know how it feels to be alone, Your Majesty."

Realizing that she was right, he whispered, "I guess we do…"

* * *

"I'm gonna kill him!" Peter yelled out after the shock of hearing about his sister's love triangle sank in.

"Peter! You can't just—"

"No!" he interjected heatedly. "I don't care if he's the King of Narnia now! I don't care if he's torn between you and that other girl! I'll kill him with my bare hands for what he's done to you, Susan! You don't deserve to be treated this way."

"And I agree with you," she concurred in a gentle tone, doing her best to calm him down. "But I already told Caspian to choose Lilliandil."

"_You what_?" he gaped at her. "Why?"

"For a lot of reasons. I don't want Caspian spending the rest of his life wondering what we could have been. I don't want him to continue tormenting himself over his feelings for me. Lilliandil is a sweet girl and she would make a wonderful Queen of Narnia. Her father is a retired Star and he raised her by himself on his island for years. She's kind, and loving, and everything Caspian could possibly want in a wife. She can make him happy."

"But she's not you, Su," he spoke out in just above a whisper. "You're the one he's loved all this time, not her."

The Gentle Queen closed her eyes and pursed her lips, keeping her emotions at bay in front of her brother. "We don't belong here anymore, Peter. Our time in Narnia is done. It has been for 1,300 years. Isn't it time we move on, and let Caspian move on with someone else?"

"Only Caspian will know when he's ready to move on. We can't make the decision for him."

"That's just it I'm afraid."

"What's just it?"

"I'm afraid he will never move on if he doesn't choose Lilliandil now. And I could never live with myself knowing he wasn't able to move past his feelings for me. I don't want Caspian to end up alone."

"What if he chooses you instead? What would happen then?"

"I'll remain here and become Caspian's wife, and Lilliandil will return to her father's island with no memory of what happened while she was here."

"Does that also mean Edmund, Lucy, and I will never see you again?"

"I don't know…" she whispered out truthfully.

Taking this information in, Peter remained silent for several moments with his blue eyes averted from her own. The thought of never seeing his sister again—there weren't enough words in the English language to describe the anguish that came to his heart. Susan was his closest sibling, the voice of reason in their family, the practical and level-headed one. She was one of the most irreplaceable, most important people in his life. How could he and the rest of their family lose her like that? And if she did no longer live in their home world, would their memory of her cease to exist as well?

"For fifteen years I watched your suitors waltz through Cair Paravel like they owned the place, and every single one of them gave me the same reasons for wanting to marry you—your beauty, grace and wisdom. It nearly drove me mad to think most of them were just trying to use you for political gain and wealth. But if I was to be completely honest with myself…I think the real reason why I threw all of those blokes out the front door was because I didn't want to see you being taken away from us. Ed and Lu would have been crushed if you had left, and so would have I. The four of us, we're a team, Su. We're a family. And if we had lost you, ruling over Narnia never would have been the same."

"But I didn't leave," she reassured him, reaching out to touch his shoulder. "I stayed because I knew my place was with you, Edmund and Lucy. Besides, I never loved any of them. How could I possibly marry someone I did not love?"

"Things are different now, though. You're in love this time. So I guess that means only one question remains for you. Are you really willing to leave everything back home behind, including your entire family, for Caspian?"

* * *

After talking some more, Peter and Susan finally left her bedchambers to talk to Caspian. The pair learned from one the guards that he had just finished a meeting with the lords in the throne room, so they made their way across the castle in hopes of catching him there. But just before the two siblings turned the corner which led straight to the throne room, Peter pulled his sister aside to speak with her privately one more time.

"Su, before you talk to Caspian again, there's something I want to you know."

"Okay," she nodded understandingly.

"No matter what happens, the most important thing I want for you is to be happy. It won't be easy to see you go, but if being here with Caspian is what you truly want and he makes you happy, I won't stand in the way of that. You're my sister and I love you."

Grateful for his kind words, she enveloped him in a hug and whispered, "You, Edmund and Lucy will always be with me in my heart, Peter."

Holding onto Susan tighter, he believed her. "I know."

They continued embracing each other for a few more seconds before she finally pulled away. She wiped away a single tear that had fallen down her pale cheek, and gave her brother a weak smile after he kissed the top of her right hand to help comfort her.

Ready to find Caspian, the eldest Pevensie siblings continued their walk. When they turned around the corner, however, Peter and Susan stumbled upon something neither would have believed unless they had seen it with their own eyes. They watched as Caspian began to lean in close to Lilliandil—as if to kiss her—only to see him turn his head towards their direction when he caught two figures staring at them in the corner of his eye.

Utterly mortified by the scene she had just witnessed, the Gentle Queen could barely breathe as she watched her first love stand up straight after he almost locked lips with Lilliandil, gazing at her with shame and regret in his eyes.

"Susan…" he whispered, his mind reeling with a million thoughts.

Unable to listen or even look at him now, she ran away in the opposite direction, tears streaming down her face, cries echoing throughout the cobblestone corridors.

"_Susan!_"

* * *

**A/N:** Please don't kill me, Suspian shippers! We all knew something like this was going to eventually happen, especially since this is a love triangle fanfic. Plus, Peter is probably going to kill Caspian in the next chapter anyway, so there would be no need to kill me, right? Lol!

Please review!


	7. Guilt & Comfort

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything, because if I did, Ben Barnes would have been mine three years ago.

**A/N: **At long last, my friends, the seventh chapter is finally here! I know there aren't enough apologies in the world to make up for not updating my story in two weeks, but I have been _incredibly _busy with school since I returned. I am equally sorry that my last cliffhanger was such a cruel one, though be prepared because that probably won't be the last one I leave you with in the story. :P Anyways, I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who reviewed the previous chapter, and I hope you will all enjoy this next one just as much.

Happy reading!

* * *

**Chapter Seven:** Guilt & Comfort

Despite his protests begging her to come back, Susan kept running through the hallways in tears until she could no longer hear Caspian's voice. He almost kissed Lilliandil—and he would have if she and Peter hadn't caught them in the act. Stopping to catch her breath, she pressed her back up against one of the cobblestone walls, almost wishing she was back in America with her parents—not living in this chaotic nightmare Caspian had dragged her into. Bursting into sobs again, her heart was completely broken, shattered into pieces by her first love's actions. The Gentle Queen tried to tell herself that is was ultimately what she wanted for Caspian—to move on with Lilliandil and find happiness with her—but to witness him almost kissing her was all too much for Susan to bear. How could he even think to kiss another woman while she and Peter were still around? Did he have no respect for her feelings? Had he completely forgotten about her after just one conversation with Lilliandil? She couldn't answer any of those questions, nor did she really want to. The only thing Susan did know was she wanted to get as far away from him as humanly possible.

When she found the strength to move again, she walked through the castle until she reached the garden, finding some comfort and peace in the beauty that the colorful flowers had to offer. Whenever something was troubling her or Lucy during the Golden Age, they would retreat to the gardens in Cair Paravel—at least until Peter or Edmund came to their aid and offered their unconditional support to whatever was troubling the girls. It was an outlet for them, a place of refuge, solace and relaxation when things got too stressful. Now she would do the same here and hope it would help.

* * *

"I have to go after her," Caspian finally spoke out when he knew Susan wasn't going to return.

"You are the last person she will want to see right now," the High King interjected, his blue eyes throwing daggers at him. "And I don't want you around Susan anyway. You've upset her enough already."

"You can't keep me from her, Peter!"

"I _can_ do—and _will_ do—whatever I have to protect my siblings! And right now I forbid you to see my sister!"

"But she has to let me explain! She has to know why I—"

"Why you almost kissed Lilliandil? Oh, that ought to be quite the explanation, because you waited all of, what, _three seconds_ after Susan told you to move on before you tried swooping in for the kill with Lilliandil?"

Blood boiling in his veins, Caspian shoved Peter, ready to fight him for making such accusations when he didn't know the whole story and questioned his love for Susan. Peter, on the other hand, was shocked by this, but quickly regained his posture and shoved Caspian back.

"No!" Lilliandil cried out, getting into the middle of their fight before it got worse. "Stop it! This will not do anyone any good, especially Queen Susan. Kings of Narnia should not be fighting with one another, Your Majesties. They must be allies. They must be able to trust each other with their lives."

"That's the last thing I'm going to do after what he did to my sister!" Peter retorted.

"Peace, Your Majesty," the Star continued in a gentle manner. "Fighting will not solve anything."

"She's right," Caspian concurred.

"Now, I will go and check on High Queen Susan and see how she is doing," she insisted, much to Peter's dismay, for he wanted to check on her himself. "In the meantime, I want both of you to settle your differences and find some common ground. It should not be too difficult when it is obvious you both care so deeply for Susan's happiness."

Saying nothing more, the platinum blonde left the two Kings alone on the terrace overlooking the kingdom. Neither could say anything while Lilliandil walked away, yet both were consumed with anger towards the other's actions, and would get everything off their chest once the beautiful Star could no longer hear what they're saying.

"Peter, you have to understand…" Caspian started. "I never meant for any of this to happen."

"Yes, I understand completely," the eldest Pevensie boy spoke out sarcastically just before his fist connected with the young king's jaw, almost causing him to fall down in the process. "_You betrayed my sister!_"

As Caspian regained his balance and stood up straight, he lightly pressed his hand against the spot where Peter hit him in the face.

"I don't care what you meant to do! You hurt her, and that's something I can never forgive you for. You'll be lucky if she ever forgives you for it."

"If you just hear me out—"

"No! You almost kissed Lilliandil after you just tried convincing Susan that you're still in love with her."

"I am!" Caspian snapped back, his own anger beginning to set in. "I have been in love with your sister since the first moment I laid eyes on her!"

"Then you've got a very funny way of showing it!"

"I made a mistake! I was just swept up in my feelings for Lilliandil…" his voice suddenly trailed off, becoming quiet. "…and I couldn't help myself. I… I love them both."

"You are unbelievable, you know that?" Peter spoke with irritation still in his tone. "Susan is the most wonderful, kind-hearted person in the world, and you can't help but love her and that other girl? You're the most selfish git I've ever met in my whole life."

* * *

After learning from one of the servants who saw Susan heading towards the garden, Lilliandil made her way outside and found Susan staring at a pink and yellow rosebush with tears running down her cheeks. She looked so fragile, so heartbroken from what she had just witnessed. Filling her own heart with sorrow, the beautiful Star hoped there was something she could do to help the Gentle Queen.

"I am sorry if I have caused you any pain, Your Majesty," Lilliandil apologized, startling the brunette when she turned around and found her standing just a few feet in front of her.

"You haven't, Lilliandil," Susan replied softly, wiping her tears away. "I don't blame you for what my brother and I saw."

"Truth be told, I did not know what King Caspian was doing until we saw you and High King Peter."

"I know you didn't. I know it was all his doing. It's because he's in love with both of us, and he can't decide which one of us he wants to be with for the rest of his life."

"But you are in love with him too, are you not, my Queen?"

"Yes…" Susan admitted in a whisper, her facial expression still full of sadness. "It doesn't matter anymore, though."

"What about everything you said in the courtyard? Remember when you told me that two people needed to be in love when they got married?"

"Of course I do, but I'm not the only one Caspian's in love with. He's in love with you, too."

Knowing this was true, the pretty blonde was unable to make a reply.

For the first time since Caspian told both women that Aslan brought them here the eldest Queen of Old realized she hadn't heard what the female Star thought of the whole situation. She had heard Caspian's side of the story, as well as her older brother's, but not Lilliandil's yet. She had been acting so calm after the initial shock left her that it never crossed Susan's mind to ask until now.

"How do you feel about all of this, Lilliandil?"

"I cannot say it pleases me, but the only kind of love I have ever known is the love I have for my father and the love he has for me. I miss my home, as well as my place in the sky, yet I have already learned from my short time being here that sometimes love is blind. We cannot always explain its wondrous presence in our lives."

"So, then, you're not angry with Aslan's decision?"

"Getting angry will not change what has happened. If anything, it will only create more problems in a scenario that is already quite complicated."

"That's true."

"You must not forget, my Queen, that Aslan never does anything unless it serves a specific purpose. He may have brought us here so King Caspian can eventually choose between us, but I believe there is more to this situation than he is leading on."

"Do you think he's trying to teach all of us something?"

"Yes, that is exactly what I think Aslan is trying to do."

* * *

"I'm trying really hard not to let my anger get the best of me right now," Peter said while he was looking down at the kingdom so he wouldn't be staring at Caspian, "because I know how much Susan cares about you, but I—"

"I never asked for anything of this to happen, Peter. Aslan was the one who brought Lilliandil and Susan here."

Turning around from the terrace, the High King's patience with his former rival was rapidly growing thin again. "Oh, so because Aslan brought them here, you're saying he's the one I should be blaming for you almost kissing Lilliandil?"

"That's not what I meant and you know it."

"The only thing I do is my sister's heart shattered into a million pieces when we saw what you were about to do. She had only told you a few hours earlier to move with your life after she leaves, and you didn't even have the decency to wait five whole minutes—"

"I'm in love with both of them!" Caspian yelled out. "I realize that may make me one of the most selfish human beings who ever existed, but I cannot help the way I feel. And it's killing me just knowing that my love for both Susan and Lilliandil caused this, but I can't change what has happened any more than you can. All I can do is abide by what Aslan has requested me to do and hope all will be well when I finally make my decision."

"If you think I'm just going to stand by and watch you repeatedly break Susan's heart over some ridiculous beauty contest, then you—" Peter suddenly cut himself off when saw Caspian walking away from him. "Where are you going?"

Without looking back, the bearded king bluntly replied, "To find your sister."

* * *

Susan and Lilliandil walking through the garden now, enjoying the pleasantly sunny weather and one another's company, while they admired every plant and pretty flower they came across.

"May I ask you something, Susan?"

"Of course. You don't have to ask."

"Did you mean what you said earlier to High King Peter? Do you really think of me as a friend?"

Taking a pause in their walk, the Gentle Queen turned and smiled at the platinum blonde, who was looking at her calmly but at the same time eagerly waiting for an answer.

"Yes, I do think of you as a friend, Lilliandil."

"You do?"

"I know it may seem a bit odd because we haven't known each other very long, but I think you've been a wonderful friend to me. I just hope I can be as good of a friend to you in time."

"You already are," the Star smiled sweetly right before she turned her head slightly so that they were no longer looking directly into each other's blue eyes. "It is just…"

"Just what?"

"Until Aslan brought me here, I never knew what it was like to have a friend or be a friend to someone."

Moved by her words, Susan touched the young woman's shoulder, causing her to look at the eldest Queen of Old again. "Now you do."

Smiling at one another once more, the girls embraced each other in a friendly hug.

Just knowing she had a friend—her first real friend—the feeling was almost enough to make Lilliandil cry tears of joy. In all her years living on her father's remote island, she never thought she would make a single friend. Yet now her dream of finally having one had come true. It was the most wonderful, most incredible feeling she had ever known in her entire life. So perhaps her intuition about Aslan's reasons for sending her, Susan and Peter here was indeed correct. Maybe there was more than one reason why the Great Lion had brought them Caspian's way.

"Why are you crying, Lilliandil?" the Gentle Queen asked upon noticing the tears in her eyes after they parted.

"It is nothing, Your Majesty," she replied with a smile still on her face, wiping the tears away. "I have never been happier, actually."

"Would you like me to go fetch you a handkerchief?"

"I appreciate the offer, but there is no need for that. I will be fine in a moment or two."

"Then how about some tea and cucumber sandwiches for lunch? We could even stay here and eat by the garden."

"Yes, that would be lovely. I would like that very much."

"Good," the brunette nodded, pleased. "I will go and ask one of the cooks to prepare it. I shouldn't be but a few minutes."

"Of course, my Queen," Lilliandil curtsied in respect. "I will be patiently waiting until you return."

Turning to leave, Susan made her way through the garden, then opened the large wooden door to exit the outdoors and softly closed it behind her once she entered the castle. She was about to begin to walk towards the kitchen when the one person who could stop her in her tracks did just that. She came face-to-face with Caspian, who was almost as surprised to see her.

"Susan…" he breathed out quietly.

She could tell he wanted to say more, but he no matter how hard he tried, the handsome king just couldn't find the words to express how sorry he was for hurting her the way he did. It didn't matter what he said to her, though. She was still too cross and distraught to partake in a rational conversation that included him.

"I can't listen to your excuses right now, Caspian," she countered in an emotionless tone, "so just leave me alone."

With that, the Gentle Queen said nothing more and brushed past her first love, leaving him in a state of shock as he watched her walk away.

* * *

**A/N:** I'm such an evil person for leaving things here, aren't I? Lol! Oh, and if you guys think this is cruel, just wait and see what happens in the next chapter. ;)

**Please review! **


	8. When You Say Nothing At All

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing.**

**A/N: **I am _so_ sorry about the delay, you guys. I feel so bad that yet another two weeks went by before I was able to update my story, but that's how hectic things are for me in school right now. I just can't escape my schoolwork responsibilities. :( Anyways, the ideas for this next chapter has been on my mind for about a month now, so I'm really hoping all of you will be just as pleased with it. :) Thanks for reading!

* * *

**Chapter Eight:** When You Say Nothing At All

It wasn't until about a week after Caspian's almost-kiss with Lilliandil occurred that the handsome king finally got to speak—and make eye contact—with Susan again. She had spent the last seven days avoiding him at all costs by either refusing to speak with him whenever he tried visiting her in her private bedchambers, excusing herself from dinner as quickly as she could, or doing anything else she could possibly think of not to see Caspian. The Gentle Queen spent most of her free time either with Lilliandil, exploring the kingdom and all the wonderful adventures it had to offer in the marketplace, or with her older brother, reminiscing the happy times they spent together in Narnia with Edmund and Lucy during their reign in the Golden Age.

But tonight would be different.

Upon learning that the High King and Queen of Old had returned to Narnia, Caspian's people insisted on celebrating their magical return with a ball. Unable to refuse them, he agreed, furtively hoping some good may come of it since Peter and Susan had to be present throughout the entire occasion, thereby giving him an opportunity to speak with them.

"…And now presenting the guests of honor…" Trufflehunter announced towards the end of his introductory speech, "…I give you Peter the Magnificent and Susan the Gentle, High King and High Queen of Narnia."

Velvet red curtains spread open in the great hall and the eldest Pevensie siblings entered the large room arm in arm with bright smiles on their faces. Thunderous applause erupted as Peter bowed to Caspian's faithful subjects and Susan curtsied. Once the clapping and cheering had died down several moments later, they made their way across the dance floor to officially begin the ball by dancing with one another. Soft music soon filled the room and everyone quietly watched while the two royals started to dance.

Standing towards the front of the large, circling crowd, Caspian stared at them with a look of dejection written across his face. It should have been him dancing with Susan, not her brother, he thought.

Wearing an off-the-shoulder, lilac purple satin dress with long sleeves and matching satin slippers, the Gentle Queen was without a single doubt the most beautiful woman in the room tonight. Of course, she was usually the most beautiful woman in every room any day of the week anyway. With her smooth, supple skin, flirtatiously coy smile, sparkling blue eyes, exquisitely curled hair—everything about the way she looked tonight was stunning…breathtaking…perfect. She was a goddess in human form.

After Susan and Peter finished the first dance, couples who had been previously standing off to the side now stepped onto the dance floor. A young man in his early twenties with curly brown hair and hazel green eyes approached the royal siblings and politely asked Peter if he could dance with Susan. The High King threw his younger sister an expression of discontent, but she brushed it off by wordlessly assuring him that it would be fine.

"Yes, I suppose that would be all right."

"Thank you, Your Majesty," the young man smiled, looking like a kid who just been given his favorite toy at Christmas.

"I will see you in a bit," Peter promised Susan, who nodded her head agreement, then he walked away so they could begin dancing.

Meanwhile, Caspian watched the entire scene from a small distance, instantly becoming jealous of the young man who had been granted permission to dance with his beloved Susan. He knew the Gentle Queen could dance with whoever she wanted—after all, she was a single and very attractive woman—yet the mere thought of another man holding her in his arms was enough to make his insides burn with envy.

He took a quick look around the room and spotted Lilliandil chatting with Doctor Cornelius near the doorway. She was wearing a long, white dress with chiffon sleeves and white satin slippers. Her platinum blonde hair was in a braid and her smoky blue eyes were lighting up as she conversed with his wise tutor. She, too, was a breathtaking sight to behold. Then Caspian took another look around the great hall and caught Peter speaking with Trumpkin and Trufflehunter, a golden goblet most likely filled with red wine in his right hand. More importantly, though, since the Magnificent King was distracted and busy talking to their Narnian friends, the handsome Telmarine realized this was the perfect time to try and speak with Susan.

Stepping onto the dance floor, Caspian dodged every couple swaying to the soft music until he was in front of Susan and her current dance partner. He cleared his throat to make his presence known, slightly surprising the pair when they turned their heads and saw him.

"May I cut in?"

"Of course, Your Majesty," the young man replied and gently pulled away from Susan.

Afterward, he bowed, bid them goodnight, and walked away, leaving Caspian alone to dance with the woman who still held his heart. But as soon as he looked into her eyes, and saw the resentment she still felt towards him, Susan walked away without saying a word and retreated to the outdoors for some privacy. Not willing to give up that easily, however, he followed her outside. Once there, he and Susan found a young couple around their ages laughing and giggling about something until they saw the royals staring at them. The pair apologized and made a quick exit through the velvet blue curtain closing the indoor festivities from the small courtyard Caspian and Susan were now in.

Sensing his presence behind her, she coldly said, "I thought I told you to leave me alone."

"I don't care anymore," he shot back. "This has gone on too long, Susan. You haven't spoken to me in a week—"

Spinning around, she fervently interjected, "With good reason."

"I made a horrible mistake almost kissing Lilliandil so soon after being with you. I wish I could say that I just got caught up in the moment while I was with her, but even if that was true, it is still no excuse."

"No, it isn't."

"I love you…" he confessed in a tone that was soft but filled with desperation at the same time.

The Gentle Queen's heart nearly skipped a beat upon hearing those three words. The tenderness in his voice and pleading, puppy dog look in his eyes was enough to make her believe him. And she did believe him. She knew he loved her. The problem was—

"Last time I checked I wasn't the only one you were in love with."

"Don't shut me out, Susan," Caspian begged, stepping towards her. "Let me—"

"Let you what? Let you tell me how much you care about me? How much you love me and want to be with me right before you run off and try to kiss Lilliandil again? No, I will not play part in this outrageous love triangle anymore, so just leave me alone, marry Lilliandil, and allow everyone get on with the rest of their lives."

Saying no more, the brunette made an attempt to leave until she heard the handsome king say—

"I can't."

Secretly pleased to see that his words had so much effect on her, Caspian slowly moved closer as he said, "I cannot marry her until I know she's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with."

"You fancied Lilliandil the moment you laid eyes on her. She's the one you would have wanted to become your future wife and queen if Aslan hadn't sent me back."

"That is exactly my point."

Not following what he was trying to say, a perplexed expression spread across the eldest Pevensie girl's face while she turned back around, only to find that they were now standing a few feet away from each other.

"Yes, I was taken with Lilliandil the moment I met her on Ramandu's Island. I was captivated by her beauty, her grace, and her kindness…just as I was with you. And, yes, I admit there was a part of me that wanted to make her my future bride and Queen of Narnia, but all of that changed the moment Aslan told me he was bringing you back. That is why I cannot do what you have requested of me. Not until I know in my heart that my affections towards her are as strong as they are for you, if not stronger, so that we can be happily married for all our years to come."

"And what if they aren't? What then?"

Finally closing the small gap between them, Caspian raised his right hand and stroked her face lovingly with his thumb. Unable to resist his warm, tender touch, Susan closed her eyes and almost gasped out in pleasure when she felt his fingertips caress the base of her neck. His fingers were like magic, starting small fires in every place they came in contact with her pale skin. This only encouraged him, motivated him to please her more. He cupped her cheek with his right hand and drew his face so close to hers that their lips were just centimeters away from clashing…so close that she could feel his warm breath on her skin….

"No," she whispered, slowly backing away, for the spell he had on her was broken. "This isn't real. This isn't right."

"What can be more right than love?"

Susan looked him straight in the eye and said with a hint of anger around the edges of her tone, "Do you know what happens in these types of situations, Caspian?" Seconds of silence went by until Susan finally answered for him. "Someone always gets hurt."

"I would never intentionally hurt you, my Queen."

"It doesn't matter, because no matter what you mean or don't mean to do, eventually one of us _will_ end up getting hurt. So I am drawing the line here and removing myself from the equation before that can ever happen."

"It was Aslan's will that brought you and Lilliandil here in the first place, so whether you like it or not, we're stuck in this situation together until I've made my final choice. You can't escape what's already been set in motion."

With all the courage she could muster, she replied in just above a whisper, "I won't let you break my heart again…and more importantly, I refuse to be the reason why you break Lilliandil's heart...so this ends here."

Walking away for a second time, Susan almost reached the royal blue velvet curtains to go back inside the castle when she felt Caspian's hand on her right shoulder—his soft touch instantly stopped the Gentle Queen from taking another step forward. He lifted his other hand and touched her left shoulder, preventing her from going anywhere.

"You're right…" he trailed off, almost lost in his own thoughts as he stared down at her, "…I have wronged you. I have done unforgivable things since the moment I learned you and Lilliandil were coming here, including lie and almost kissing her only hours after I had just told you I still love you. I do not blame you for being angry with me. Peter and Lilliandil for that matter, either. But if you truly want me to stop all of this, there's only one thing you have to say."

Turning around, "And what would that be?"

Their eyes now locked in a gaze she hadn't felt since the night she returned, it took no more than a moment for Susan to realize Caspian had trapped her, made her his prey, for with that one wistful look in his eyes—a look so penetrating it could reach the depths of her very soul—she was powerless to escape.

"Tell me you don't love me."

_Her heart skipped a beat._

Unable to breathe a single word, she stood in stunned silence, playing right into his hand. And with her heart pounding a mile a minute, tension building at an overwhelmingly rapid rate, the eldest Queen of Old averted her ocean blue eyes from his chocolate brown ones. She racked her brain in attempt to make an excuse to leave, but nothing could come to mind. Caspian had paralyzed her into sheer silence with a request she never thought he'd ask her in a thousand years.

_How could she possibly say she didn't love him when they both knew she still did?_

Delighted by the internal struggle Susan was dealing with and knowing she wouldn't be able to say the words, the handsome king gently lifted her chin, thereby forcing her to look up at him.

"Say it."

"I…I can't…"

"Because you love me," he smiled. "You love me as much as I love you."

Then in one swift move, before she could make any sort of reply, Caspian cupped the back of her neck and pulled her into a passionate kiss. Susan tried to resist his bold advances initially, yet the longer she felt his lips on hers, the more she found herself giving in and responded by kissing him with just as much urgency.

Caspian knew in the back of his mind that he was betraying his love for Lilliandil by doing this; he was betraying Peter's authority and respect; he was even betraying Susan's request to leave her alone, but he couldn't stop himself. Not now. Not when he still loved the Gentle Queen so much. She was everything a man could want in a wife and more. She was beautiful, intelligent, kind, and always thinking of others before herself.

Brushing his tongue across her bottom lip, he wordlessly asked for permission to deepen the kiss. Susan immediately obliged, parting her lips in full anticipation, as a combination of love and lust had drowned out any and all rational thoughts she previously had. Caspian invaded her mouth, tasting her sweet cravens until he had them completely memorized by heart. He placed his other hand on the small of her back, pulling her even closer to him, and a feeling of warmth—her warmth—washed over his entire body. Susan ran her hands up and down his clothed back, wishing his current attire wasn't there so she could feel every inch of his tanned, smooth skin. He tore his mouth away from hers, tilted his head, and began trailing soft, sweet kisses down her neck. His breathing was ragged and unsteady, yet the sound of it only drove Susan closer to the edge of pleasure.

"Caspian…" she moaned out his name, causing his insides to purr with satisfaction.

Bringing his head back up to hers, he recaptured her lips in a hot, searing kiss, eliciting a small moan from the back of her throat. He kissed her desperately, fervently, fiercely…wanting her more than anything. Desire, however, soon came to a halt when they heard the curtains opening. The pair abruptly stopped kissing, and in their hazy, breathless state, looked across their shoulders to find the murderous glare of Peter Pevensie.

* * *

**A/N: So should Caspian beg for mercy at the start of the next chapter, or just run for the hills? LOL! **

**Please review!**


	9. If You Love Someone

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**A/N: **Well, after reading your reviews from the eighth chapter, I guess Caspian's best option would be to…run for the hills! LOL! That last comment was just a joke, by the way. Of course Caspian wouldn't run away from Peter or beg for mercy at a moment like this. He would—sorry; you're going to read the chapter to find out what he does. ;) I am _so_ sorry it took me so long to post this chapter, but school has just been _insane _lately. I mean, between writing papers, studying for my midterms, and preparing for presentations, I haven't had a moment to come up for air in weeks. Anyways, thanks so much to everyone who reviewed the previous chapter. Your support means the world to me! :) I hope all of you like the next installment.

Happy reading!

* * *

**Chapter Nine:** If You Love Someone

After he ripped the blue curtain back so no one inside the castle would see them talking, a furious Peter stepped towards the breathless pair and pointed an accusing forefinger at Caspian.

"I told you to stay away from my sister!" he bellowed.

"Peter, stop," Susan begged, as she walked up to him, acting almost as a shield between the two young men. "Please don't do anything rash. This wasn't—"

"'Don't do anything rash?'" the High King repeated her words with indignation. "Su, have you completely forgotten what he did to you last week?"

"No, I haven't forgotten…" she spoke in just above a whisper, "…but I still love him."

"And I still love her," Caspian added, his eyes burning with passion. "I have never stopped loving your sister."

"Well, I should imagine so after what I just witnessed! You two were snogging like your whole lives depended on it! Your tongue was shoved so far down Susan's throat—"

"Peter!" the Gentle Queen cried out, praying her older brother wouldn't finish that last thought. "Stop attacking Caspian like all of this is his fault. He wasn't taking advantage of me. I kissed him back."

"It is his fault, because you never would have acted this way if we were back home. He's only confusing you, and using your love for him to get to you—"

"That is a lie!" Caspian heatedly interjected. "I would never do such a thing. I have thought of your sister every day since you left Narnia and have remained true to her memory—"

"Until you met Lilliandil," Peter cut in. "That changed everything, didn't it?"

"No, it didn't change everything, because I still love Susan. I always have, and nothing will ever change that." He turned his attention from the angry King to Susan, his eyes now filled with sadness and longing. "I swear it, my love."

"I believe you," she whispered in reply.

His heart now soaring with delight, Caspian took the Gentle Queen into his arms. He held her close and kissed the top of her head, unconcerned with the fact that her overprotective brother was watching them. He loved her and she believed him—that was the only thing in the world that matter to him at this exact moment.

"What rubbish is this?" the sandy blond spoke in outrage. "He's lied to you, Su. We watched him almost kiss Lilliandil only hours after he told you he still loves you, and now—after one kiss—you're going to believe anything he says? Just forgive and forget?"

Releasing herself from Caspian's warm embrace, Susan stepped towards Peter and replied, "He's made some mistakes in the past, but Caspian has always been honest about his feelings for me. He loves me, and I can't turn my back on that—not when I still love him. So stop acting like Father and let me make my own choices."

"I'm only trying to protect you like I promised Mum I would the day we left home for Professor Kirke's."

"And you have, Peter. You've kept your promise, but we're not children anymore. You can't protect me forever." Turning back around, she added, "And neither can you, Caspian."

"What do you mean?" the handsome Telmarine wondered, staring at her with a perplexed expression on his face.

"You can't keep lying as a means of protecting me from the truth anymore. You need to do what Aslan has asked of you and spend more time with Lilliandil, that way once you've made your final choice, you'll know you've made it with a clear conscience."

"My love, do you realize what you're asking me to do?"

"Yes, and you will do as Aslan says because it's the right thing to do. It's the only way you'll know for certain whether you want to spend the rest of your life with me or Lilliandil."

Leaving both Kings utterly stunned by her admission, the practical brunette said no more as she slowly withdrew from the courtyard to return inside for the remainder of the ball.

About to follow her back inside, Caspian only managed to take a few steps forward when he felt Peter's grip on his right arm. He turned around to find the High King's threatening glare penetrating his gaze like a snake eyeing his quivering prey in a wide, open field.

"If you do anything—_anything_—to break my sister's heart again, I won't stop until you're hunted down and I kill you myself."

With that, the eldest Pevensie sibling, who was tempted to shove his former rival out of the way, stepped around him, went back inside to rejoin Susan and their Narnian friends, leaving Caspian alone to muse over what had just occurred.

* * *

Halfway through the ball, Susan spotted Lilliandil, who was currently sitting and chatting with one of the lords on Caspian's council. When she came over to them, both rose upon seeing her, respectively bowed, and greeted the Gentle Queen, and then the middle-aged Telmarine politely excused himself to get some wine before leaving the two ladies.

Once he was gone, Susan and Lilliandil sat down together at the Star's fairly large, round table. It was away from the music and people chatting, topped with white silk table cloths, tall, white candles for extra lighting, golden goblets, elegant silverware, and fancy plates with half-eaten food from a half-dozen people who had previously been sitting there.

"Have you enjoyed the ball so far, my Queen?" the golden-haired beauty wondered.

"I was until I went into the courtyard and started arguing with Caspian after he followed me outside."

"Did he come to apologize for what happened last week?"

"I didn't want to listen to any of his excuses and apologizes, but regardless of how angry I was with him, Caspian still wanted me to know how sorry he was for doing what he did."

"While your upset in this situation is most understandable, you must not forget that everyone makes mistakes, even a king."

"I know…but I was just so hurt by what he did. And because it was something I never thought Caspian would do, his actions shook my faith in him."

"What happened after he made his apology?"

Now nervous, Susan was hesitant to continue any further yet knew she couldn't lie to her friend. "He told me that he loves me…and said that if I really wanted to make all of this go away, the only thing I had to do was tell him that I don't love him anymore."

"But you do still love him, do you not?"

Nodding, "When I realized that I couldn't say the words, we started kissing…at least until my brother caught us in the act."

"High King Peter found you kissing in the courtyard?"

"And he would have torn his head off if I hadn't intervened when I did. More importantly, though, I think I also managed to help Peter see my side of the story."

"That you still love King Caspian despite the errors he has recently made."

"Yes."

"You truly are a woman in love, my Queen," the platinum blonde replied with a sweet smile. "You should appreciate that, for true love is a rare but beautiful thing. It is what everyone hopes to find in their lifetime, yet only a small few actually do."

Unable to say anything in reply upon blushing from feeling self-conscious, Susan looked down at herself. However, her state of awkwardness was short-lived when Lilliandil asked her—

"Would I be correct in my assumption that King Caspian has made his decision? Has he chosen you to be his future wife and Queen?"

"No," she breathed out unevenly, her crystal blue eyes still averting the Star's smoky blue ones. "No, he hasn't. I wouldn't let him."

"Why not?"

"Because no matter how much I know he loves me, none of this will end until he fulfills Aslan's request."

"Forgive me, Your Majesty, but I am afraid I do not quite follow."

"I don't want Caspian to say the words out loud until he knows for certain which one of us he wants to spend the rest of his life with, and he can't do that until he spends more time with you."

Lilliandil wanted to tell Susan that she shouldn't allow a couple of mistakes ruin her chance at happiness with the man she so obviously loves, yet the Star knew Her Majesty well enough now to know that she was doing this—stepping aside and trying to put his happiness ahead of her own—because she loves him and wanted him to be happy, even if he wasn't with her.

Laying her right hand on top of Susan's left one, almost in hopes that it would help bring her some comfort, she whispered, "I know this cannot be easy for you."

"This is the hardest thing I've ever done…but it's the only way Caspian will know who he who truly wants to be with. And it's what Aslan wants him to do. He always knows what's best, so we must have confidence in his wisdom and respect his wishes."

"If I have not said it before, you are most wise, my Queen."

The brunette gave her a weak smile. "Will you promise me something, Lilliandil?"

"Anything."

"Promise me that no matter where this dilemma on Caspian takes us, no matter who he ultimately chooses to be his bride, you and I will still be friends."

"I promise," she nodded her head reassuringly.

Happy to hear this, Susan smiled once more, a true smile, then leaned in and gently hugged her new friend.

Watching the two young women from a short distance, Caspian saw them embrace one another, still astonished that they managed to strike up a close bond and friendship in such a short amount of time—especially when one considered the complicated situation he had unwittingly put them in. It said a lot about their character—their willingness to befriend someone in need of a friend—which never ceased to amaze him. However, the conversation they were engaged in before hugging was what initially caught the King's eye. The different types of facial expressions Lilliandil made while Susan talked to her became the peak of his interest, as he wondered what his first love was saying to the beautiful Star. Caspian already had a fairly good guess, but now was not the time to put his investigating skills to test. Perhaps later in the evening, when he could get one of the girls alone, he could find the answers he was seeking then.

* * *

By the time Susan finally reached her private bedchambers shortly after the ball had ended, and she bid her brother good night for the evening, it was almost midnight. The moon was full, the air was cool, and the Stars were twinkling like small diamonds in the sky. With flame-lit torches in the cobblestone corridors providing the only source of light, the Gentle Queen was about to reach out and grab the brass doorknob when she heard the handsomely bearded King, who was now dressed in a cotton white nightshirt and brown leggings, whisper her name ever so softly.

"Susan…"

Startled by his silent presence sneaking up on her, she jumped backwards and pressed against the door as her hand flew over her heart. "Caspian, you nearly scared me half to death. What are you doing here at this hour? I thought you went off to bed already."

"I could not sleep."

'_I know the feeling_,' she thought to herself.

"I saw you talking to Lilliandil earlier, and I was wondering if you talked to her about what you said to Peter and I in the courtyard."

"Not that it's any of your business, but, yes, I did. I thought it was only fair since she asked me and we're friends."

"What did she say when you told her?"

"She wasn't keen on the whole idea at first, but once she saw that I had a point, she understood and agreed with me."

"This isn't what you want, though."

"Of course this isn't what I want!" she shot back in a low voice. "Do you really think I want to see you in the arms of another woman? It breaks my heart just to imagine you holding Lilliandil. But something she told me last week in the gardens finally made me realize that none of this drama is going to stop until you do exactly as Aslan has instructed. You have to spend more time with her and be completely certain who it is you want to spend the rest of your life with before you make your final choices, because lies and resentment will only make matters worse."

"What about jealousy? You just said it would break your heart to see me with Lilliandil."

"And it probably will…but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make because no matter how many wrongs you've committed since Aslan sent me here, I still want you to find happiness with the right woman. You deserve true peace and love after everything Miraz stole from you since you were a child, including your father."

"Why don't you believe you're the right one for me?"

"It's not that I don't believe we could have a happy life together," she shook her head, "it's that I want _you_ to be sure, and I think Aslan does, too. You need to be with someone who can make you smile every time she walks into the same room as you…and makes your heart jump up in your throat whenever she gets close to you. Someone who will stand by you through thick and thin…help you rule this country for many years to come…and love you unconditionally until death."

"I'm with her right now."

Taking one more step forward, Caspian slowly dipped his head forward—almost expecting Susan to reject his advance—and closed his eyes upon planting a soft, sensual kiss on her full lips. Still pressed up against her door, she kissed him back, nearly moaning in pleasure when she felt his hands grab her waist. In return, her hands made contact with his body, feeling his well-toned abs through his nightshirt. On impulse, she trailed her fingertips up to his chest, which just about drove him over the edge as he seductively whispered her sweet name in rapture.

"No…" she breathed out after gently pushing him away. "No, we can't do this again, Caspian. Not until you can look me in the eye and tell me I'm the only woman in your heart."

"It doesn't have to be this way, Susan. We can—"

"Yes, it does," the Gentle Queen interjected firmly. "You've said so yourself."

Taking a short pause, the tone of her voice quickly softened. "You may not understand why I'm asking you to follow through with Aslan's request right now, but someday you will…and when you do, you'll know it's because I wanted you to find true happiness."

Unable to utter another word without breaking down into tears in front of him, Susan grabbed the doorknob from behind, twisted it so the door would open, and let herself in. Silence and tension filled the small gap between the pair again, as they shared one more wistful gaze just before she closed the door to her private bedchambers. With her fingertips still pressed against the wood, the level-headed brunette finally let her emotions out and cried.

"I…I love you, Caspian…" she choked out in between sobs.

She continued to cry, having no idea how long the hot, fresh tears rolled down her pink cheeks, until she suddenly felt as if another presence was behind her, watching her drown in heartache and sorrow with intense scrutiny. Yet despite not knowing who was staring at her, the presence felt strangely…familiar. Susan knew this person or creature. So once she found enough strength to regain her posture and wipe away most of her tears, she turned around, only to come face-to-face with none other than…

"_Aslan_."

* * *

**A/N: "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back to you, they're yours." **

**Now if this chapter didn't scream that message, I don't know what would. Lol!**


End file.
